What's A Little Death Among Friends?

One subject that tends to change in how it's approached in every society is death. For some people, they don't want to talk about it in case it comes for them or their loved ones. Some people just don't want to think about how mortal we are. Some people are just uncomfortable without knowing why. Some are what we call morbid and like discussing it too much.

Then there are the ones who treat it with humour.

I found this website http://www.vastpublicindifference.com/2008/08/101-ways-to-say-died.html and except for one repetition there's actually 117 different ways people said a person died on their tombstones. But none of these epitaphs are from a date later than 1825. Which makes me wonder if people stopped being creative because of a change in society's attitude or because it cost less to simply put died and a date.

If I was going to be buried rather than cremated I would want something creative on my tombstone. Finding something unique might be hard though. Perhaps I'll take a page from my attitude and use that.

There are many ways to die. Some methods are more plausible and have a higher chance of actually happening than others. For instance it is highly likely that I will die from a heart attack rather than dying from being stepped on by a yak in the middle of a mountain field while dancing and surrounded by singing children. The heart attack has a much, much higher chance of happening because I doubt I'll ever be dancing in a mountain field with yaks and singing children.

But one never knows.

Seeing the list of ways people said died made me wonder, how many ways are there to die? How long a list could we make if I got everyone I know to think up ways to die. Oh, there are the obvious ones - heart attack, stroke, run over, shot, stabbed, lung failure, terminal diseases, fire, drowning, accidents, etc - but then we can get into more improbable deaths. Falling from a tree off a cliff edge on a deserted island in the middle of the Pacific while drunk on coconut milk. Being bitten by a rabid rabbit being chased by an angry badger in the middle of a forest while on a survival safari.

I mean, how many ways can we think of that a person can die, no matter how realistic or not? Especially since some ways that one would think are improbable have actually happened. There have been reports of people dying by having a piano fall on them, or an anvil, even by being hit by a falling duck. My brother could have died when he fell out of the tree and cut his head open with the hatchet. Luckily for him it was a toy hatchet and didn't cut very deep. But for a woodsman chopping branches such a fall could have been fatal.

Today's society makes certain deaths that did occur in the past highly unlikely these days. We don't go out in horse and buggies or sail wooden ships across the ocean (as ocean liners, some people still find it challenging to try yachts but those are usually made from fiberglass not wood). We do have a higher chance of death by mechanical means with all the technology we work with.

So, if I was to have an epitaph, what would I choose? I'm strongly tempted to have "At least it wasn't by falling from a tree off a cliff edge on a deserted island in the middle of the Pacific while drunk on coconut milk." but maybe I'll go with "Not stepped on by a yak while dancing in a mountain meadow with singing children." It'd be cheaper but I'm not sure which would be funnier as the years went by.

After all, if people can't remember me with humour then what's the point of it all?

The Light in the Darkness

Honor.

A lot of people would say it doesn't exist anymore. They just haven't met any honorable people. Most people would say it's an outdated concept, that anyone who tries to be honorable will simply have everyone else walk over them.

They don't understand honor.

Honor is not about telling the truth. Honor is not acting like a shining knight and rushing to the rescue. It has elements of those in it but honor is about being true to your values and beliefs. Honor is usually seen as one of the good virtues along with generosity, caring, and a willingness to sacrifice for others. A person who doesn't lie, holds to all their promises, and helps others is generally seen as an honorable person. While this is true it is also one of the hardest things to be honorable all the time.

Yet it can be done.

I'm not trying to preach to anyone or convince anyone that they should let other people walk over them as they try to be honorable in a world which seems to have lost it's honor. I'm just trying to show you that there is still honor out there and maybe you show some glimpses of it yourself once in a while.

Honor is being true to your values and beliefs.

Honor is not about being good or bad.

Most of us want to be considered as good people. Not the goody two shoes type of good but the average person who tries to live within the law and not make trouble for anyone else. We try not to make promises we can't keep to our families and friends, even our bosses and co-workers. We want to earn enough money to live and be able to enjoy life and not have to worry about other people. We're shocked when we hear of crimes, especially violent crimes, and worry about the safety of our families.

But few people would use the word honorable describing either themselves or the people they know.

I watch people. I see small acts of honor occurring everyday. I know that honor is still alive and winding it's way through our society. I think as long as people want to be good that honor will be around. It might not be recognized easily (few people are really observant but that's another post) and it might not be identified correctly but it exists. I'm taking this opportunity to shine a little light on it and make more people aware it is out there.

Because you never know, you might be more honorable than you realize.

Something To Think About

I like watching people and seeing what sort of things they post and talk about. I guess what really fascinates me is how people who can be intelligent can be so oblivious to their own actions.

I know I make mistakes, I'm only human after all. But one thing I learned early is apparently the one thing that most people don't seem to have learned - we put our motives on others.

Especially when it comes to the written or typewritten word. There's no way to show emotions except by using symbols and expressing emotions in the words themselves. For example (j/k) or :P or even *wry smile* . So people, when they read something, project their own mood and viewpoint on whatever is written.

But few people understand that they are doing this.

I've dealt with people who have looked at a comment someone has made or instructions sent by email or even just a picture posted someplace and they've taken offense or been insulted or hurt or gotten angry because they think the other person is angry or being rude or whatever they are thinking. I critiqued one person in a writing group I belong to and I thought my critique was fair and I offered suggestions for the issues I saw and complimented the good I saw. Unfortunately there wasn't a lot of good in the story. The budding writer sent back a message saying he was quitting writing since he'd never be any good.

I had not said anything of the sort. In fact he had a good idea and a good start. Most of his problems were technical in nature, especially comma use, and using imagery that was confusing. But his self-confidence in his idea and writing was so low that any criticism meant he obviously wasn't any good and never would be good at writing so he gave up.

I've had people critique my stories and told me I was doing something with a scene or a dialogue that wasn't really there. Or at least that I hadn't meant to draw any connection to but again it was the other person's perceptions of what should be there that formed their judgement of my story.

Just as in other aspects of life I've heard people talk about someone and give their reasons for what the other person was doing. Offices are bad for that as people like to gossip. But even groups of friends will do the same thing. They'll make assumptions about people and what they say and do based on their own experiences and views.

I try to keep an open mind about why someone acts a certain way. If possible, I'll ask questions to make sure I understand any requests or if I know the person well enough I can ask about their mood so I know how to act around them. Because I know that I will have to be the one to watch what I say and do.

That's not a complaint or bragging. It's a simple statement. I'm aware of how perceptions shape our responses but most people don't think about it. They aren't taught to be wary of it. They don't analyze their actions, reactions,and thoughts.

Why should they? No one they know does it. Well, unless they know me and my family. But, as we've been told, we're exceptions to the rule of the average person. We've tried to be exceptions and taught our daughter to be an exception.It's hard sometimes and often frustrating but this way we can each bring a little bit of enlightenment to every friend we make.

Because, you know, we have to point out to our friends that perceptions are everything and we need to understand that we see everything through our own perceptions. : ) Even when trying to be open-minded and see through someone else's eyes we can't. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't be trying.

And who knows, maybe we do sometimes see things as someone else does for a brief instant in time. At least we can open our minds to other ways of thinking.

Let's Try This Again

Well, gee, looks like Life kept me too busy to post here. Well there's been a lot happening in some ways but mostly I forgot about posting here.

I'm going to need to take some time and revamp my links and profile to reflect more on what I want here. I'm also going to try and post at least once a week. We'll see how well that works out.

Not that it really matters since I don't have any followers at this moment. this will mostly be a way of keeping my own sanity.