Attitudes and Platitudes

The problem with having a normally cheerful, upbeat, slightly sarcastic, and often tongue-in-cheek attitude is that people don't tend to take negative comments seriously. On the Internet, whether in posts or through emails, I try and make sure people know when I'm not being serious. I use emoticons where they'll show up and otherwise put my mood in asterisks.

So when a friend posted "Sometimes, just sometimes things happen for a reason and it leads to something even better. Just breathe and think positively." my response was "I'm running out of positive thoughts. Care to share some?" Rather than realizing I was being serious, she thought I was being tongue-in-cheek and liked my post. If I had been cheeky, I would have added ":P" after so the emoticon would have shown up. But at the time I answered I was feeling down because of all the bad things that had been hitting one after another for the past couple of months. I really could not have come up with a positive thought if someone had paid me. Although that would have been a positive thought to think someone would pay me for my thoughts.

I wasn't looking for a platitude in response. I'm good at giving those so I don't need them back. *being sort of cheeky with that line but also serious* But I was looking for a touch of sympathy and maybe even some concern. I'm not a person who shouts my cares to the world but I watch my friends so I can see when they need a bit of cheering up or cheering on or just plain cheering for accomplishing something. So when I post something that should shout to them that I need some cheering up I expect them to be watching for it as well.

Foolish me. I should know by now that few people are like me and watch others for those subtle signs that tell of problems in their lives. Too many people are used to the current generation's tendency to tell all and expect people to come out and say they are having troubles. I'm not that way though.

I have no trouble with people telling their life stories online. Personally I think there's too much information sometimes and that certain things should stay private but that's my attitude and applies to my life. If I'm asked, I'll give advice but otherwise I'll keep it to myself. Except in the case of my daughter, of course, but even there she'll usually come looking for advice when she wants it. Generally speaking though, unless I know a person will consider my advice carefully, I give out platitudes with my advice. It's sort of my way of showing that I know the person doesn't really want to follow my advice but is asking to make me feel like my opinion is valued.

I don't expect anyone to follow my advice blindly. The only piece of advice I've ever given that I do expect to be followed is "Listen to the advice you get offered and consider it carefully. What works for one person might not be the best solution for yourself but at least give the person offering the advice the respect of considering their words seriously." After all, everyone is unique. But often what works for one person will work for another. It might need a bit of modification for the specific situation and personality but the overall theory works. However, you have to consider the advice given and not simply dismiss it.

I think the most important advice I can give anyone, and yes it is a platitude, is to know yourself and to realize that everyone sees things differently. Learn to see how your friends act and react so that you can understand them better and be wary of assuming that people act for the same reasons you do. Because I can assure you, they won't always have the same reasons or responses. I just need to watch anyone, friend or stranger, to realize that.