Preempted

I had an idea for today's post but something more important has come up. In order words, Life interrupted.

My mom was told a few months ago that she has lung cancer and wasn't expected to live much longer. Well, she did turn 80 last summer so I've been expecting some sort of health issue to rise up before long. I wasn't expecting this although upon thinking it really wasn't a surprise.

My father used to smoke so my mom got exposed to a lot of secondhand smoke. He died a couple of decades ago from a stroke. So the fact that it was my mom who ended up suffering from his bad habit isn't all that surprising.

Yesterday I got a call from my sister. Mom was taken to the hospital in severe pain. The cancer has spread a lot so it looks like this might be the end.  I'll be heading up in a while to see her. In some ways I would prefer not to, it's been a few months since I've seen Mom and my sister said she's lost about 20 pounds. Mom is a small woman and doesn't have the weight to lose. Also, if she's in as much pain as I think she might be too drugged to be aware of who is around her.

The past few years have had a lot of family drama and this is a situation that puts me in a nasty spot. The eldest of my sisters is currently talking only with me because my mom and other sister and brother don't want anything to do with her. However, she is Mom's firstborn and I think she has a right to know what is happening. I'm worried that if Mom is coherent when I go in she'll ask me not to tell my sister. Yet if I tell my sister and she tries to get here before Mom dies that will just cause tension and fights with my other sister.

It's a no-win situation. Although if Mom is in as much pain as I think, I hope she doesn't last for much longer. It took a week for Dad to die after his stroke and he didn't know any of us the last few days. That was very hard to deal with as was trying to handle each day never knowing if that was going to be the day when he died. I don't want to repeat that with Mom.

All I can do today is go see her and then decide what I'm going to do. At least I will get to say good bye to her.