Story Telling and Stage Fright

For as long as I can remember I have loved to write. As soon as I learned to read I started putting my own stories together. When events happen to me I sit back and think of how to tell them.

But....I get stage fright when telling my stories to anyone but kids.

Oh I can write them down but when it comes to verbally relating something, I pull within myself and stick to the facts. I know why this is so, it has to do with my childhood experiences. I have never been comfortable speaking in front of groups of people. I don't like being in the spotlight or the center of attention.

In short, I don't have the confidence to put myself forward. Now that doesn't mean I'm not confident of what I can do, because I know what I can do well and what I can't do at all. Public speaking falls under the can't do list. That also includes telling my stories with the flair I want to put into them.

I don't know how common this is. I've met some writers and found most of them to be very confident people with strong personalities. But we've also met in situations where they were able to sit down and talk with us (I was with my classmates) and not standing up reading or reciting their works. Of course, these were also people who had been writing for more years that I had been alive too.

My friends and family find my reaction confusing. They know me fairly well and are surprised that I don't have the confidence to talk about my strengths. I've tried to explain but I don't think they can understand.

One thing that was driven into my head as I was growing up was to not brag. Bragging was almost the worst thing a person could do. All it showed was an inflated sense of importance (pride) and usually involved blowing things out of proportion. In other words, it was almost the same, if not actually the same thing, as lying.

There's a fine line between having pride in yourself and being prideful. Unfortunately, it's not one easily taught and most people struggle with finding the balance. For myself, I know what I can do and I take pride in being able to do what I can but I shy away from telling anyone what I know I can do.

I know I can tell a good story. I know I can read a story to kids and be involved and act out scenes and voices and generally be a story teller for a while. But let it be one of my stories or it be an adult I'm talking with and my stage fright kicks in with a vengeance.

So I let my words speak on the printed page. Well, typewritten words on computer screens most times. All the voices and arm motions and movements will have to be in your head. I'll at least try to help with indications in my stories like *waves right hand dismissively* adding in comments or descriptions of voices and actions. :)